I’m sitting in front of my PC, in this night, with no people still alive, because they are sleeping, like our life should be, sleep…

But I still can’t sleep, like my life often, I do some activities in the night, because it’s my free time, free space, free power , free brain, free… all I need to do some things which I can’t do in other times…

Now I’m thinking by myself, with no inspirations, no supposes, no imaginations and I don’t know what I wanna do…

Shit!

It’s my gloomy of life, I do not ever thought I will ever feel like what I feel now…

I’m just thinking, and trying my best to understand, I do not know what did happened, with life that feel so fun, now I know, it have been happen…

The earth is moving, but I can’t feel the grown. I’m living like I still a girl, but I know, I’m not a girl anymore… But I don’t really to be a woman yet, or I don’t want to be, I don’t care!

With my confusion, I try to write something, still, I confuse, I don’t know what I want to write… it’s too much to me!

I always think I can face all of problem well, by my self. But I know, now, I can’t handle a problem, perhaps little problem, by my self… I do not even ready to life… not yet… I really wanna find someone who really sees me, who really understandings me…

Now I know… I’m still a girl who tries my best to find my woman…

my note -Jan 10th 2009, 00:19-